Wednesday, 12 December 2012


Do you know what makes you happy? Because I don't. Sure, I have weird moments when I feel like my heart is inflated and won't fit inside my body. I'm pretty sure that sensation means I'm happy but sometimes I think that's not true.

Because it's not the same feeling I get when it is storming outside and my windows are open, freezing me, and I realize that I don't want to be sitting inside watching a movie anymore. I go out into my balcony and I let every single aspect of the thunder storm overwhelm me. Its beautiful noises and how the temperature makes no sense to how it was an hour ago. The steel grey clouds in the distance looking almost as if they're touching the buildings. Later on, I feel like time is cruel and I don't want to do anything else in my life but stand there and watch the rain. But in that actual moment, I feel something that I think is happinness. I'm not sure though.

I don't know. What defines happiness? I'm guessing it's different for every person. I just hope that the thing I feel on those rainy days is happiness, because I have had enough of uncertainty.


  1. The older I get the more I realize that happiness is not a right or a choice or what we should all strive for, it is simply the awareness of joy as it is happening. It comes and goes and we should accept it as any other emotion and enjoy while it lasts, but also let it go. There is power and value in sadness and rage and fear too. Emotions are meant to be felt, not suffocated. Happiness is many things, but seldom is is permanent.

  2. I agree. I think that most of the time when I'm happy I don't realize it until the moment has passed. Like you said, we just have to accept it as it goes by.